Love, let's talk about it....
Valentine's Day is coming up, and it makes me think of my first Valentine's Day experiences. I felt like I was in first or second grade—shoeboxes with card slots beautifully decorated with purples and pinks. Sparkly heart stickers scattered everywhere. Love written on all over. Sweethearts, small heart-shaped candies.
I didn't understand the fuss then, but I would come to love Valentine's Day and all it represents.
As a child, I didn't feel loved. I was sensitive to most things around me and keenly aware that my mother never told me she loved me. I was sure that I was unlovable. After all, she and my sisters constantly told me I was too sensitive. That must have meant I was looking for something that wasn't there.
As a child, nothing is more important than feeling safe and loved. Sadly, many parents cannot show love, which has nothing to do with you.
Those who have read my book, "The Sensitive One," know that I struggled with finding love and loving myself in my teens, 20s, and early thirties.
In my search for love, it took me a long time to accept and feel worthy of love. Self-introspection, therapy, and gentleness with myself eventually helped me learn how to mother myself and then finally learn to love myself. (and reading a lot of books)
You can genuinely develop healthy relationships with others by learning to accept yourself, embrace, and love yourself entirely.
Love is NOT
Controlling behavior
Jealousy
Emotional or verbal abuse
Social isolation
Stalking
What I learned about LOVE
You must love yourself to love others.
Don't stop planning your life and waiting for the "right" person to show up.
It's up to you— let love in
When we give others our love, the more love we experience.
Love is a birthright. Everyone is worthy of love, no matter where they start in life.
Love is everywhere if we let it in. It's in the smile of a toddler when you walk by, it's in the hug your friend gives you, it's the smile of a stranger, and it's in the trust of a sister.
The love I'd eventually show to my mom returned to me fourfold. She learned to give hugs and told me she loved me whenever she had the opportunity.
Words Matter!
I hope you find love in the most unexpected place this Valentine's Day, love without abandon, and open your heart to love freely.
And may you especially feel LOVED by me :)
Resources
Self love Exercises