• Susan Morris

What Is A Hermit Crab



I'm glad you asked. I'm going to share with you about my writing progress.


They are picky homeowners, and they will trade shells with other crabs to get a better fit or a less damaged cover. Hermit crabs are not true crabs in that they are not born with shells. Instead, they must source shells to protect their exoskeleton. A hermit crab without a cover is easy pickings for any predator. All hermit crabs start life as zoeae.

Some of you may know that I am in UCLA's Creative writing certificate program. The spring course is Personal Essay One. One of the goals I have in writing is to share personal essays in a variety of places. So I'm excited about this course.

My assignment this week was to write a hermit essay. I wanted to explain it a little bit because I had FUN with it. No Seriousness here!

The hermit crab essay is a nonfiction essay style where a writer will adopt an existing form to contain their writing. These forms can be several things, including emails, recipes, to-do lists, and field guides. I chose discharge instructions.


Discharge Instructions

Patients Who Have Tested Positive for Covid -19


You have recently been diagnosed with having the coronavirus (Covid-19). As of today, you are well enough to manage your illness at home. Once you get home, you should continue to party, stay hydrated (beer and wine are ok alternatives for water), and get little or no sleep. You may continue to feel body aches, fatigue, and loss of taste and smell for several days. Now is the time to try those spicy things you've always wanted to.


You MUST NOT QUARANTINE: When returning home, please follow the precautions below:

1. Take Tylenol (acetaminophen) or aspirin as needed, so nobody will know that you have a fever.

2. If you must cough or sneeze, do so into the air; there is no need to cover your mouth.

3. For at least seven days, party like a rock star.


WHO:

· Invite your friends over for a party; you deserve it. It's been a rough year.

· Visit your grandmother and grandfather, and anyone over sixty that you haven't seen in a while.

· Self-loathing is mandatory.

· Gather all your animals together for a pet fest.

· If you see a tiger in the street, it's best to surprise him.

· If you have chickens, just let the eggs pile up. You'll be too busy partying to collect them daily.

· If you have a pet python, I feel sorry for you.


WHAT

• Avoid NOT sharing personal household items.

• YOU SHOULD share dishes, drinking glasses, cups, eating utensils, towels, or bedding with other people and pets in your home.

• There is no need to clean every day, especially the "high touch" surfaces like counters, tabletops, doorknobs, bathroom fixtures, toilets, phones, keyboards, and tablets.

• Do NOT take your temperature


WHERE:

• Go out as much as you can; after all, you're making up for lost time.

• You can go to school, work, and public areas.

• Make sure to only use public transportation, ridesharing, or taxis.

• As advised by the Centers for Disease Control (CDC), you must stay home as little as possible, maximize your contact with others, and never wear a mask.


WHEN (guidelines for seeking medical care)

• Seek emergency medical treatment if you can't stop smiling.

• Your cheeks hurt from laughing.

• The inability to eat only ONE potato chip.

• Muscle soreness from loafing around all weekend.

• Not being able to touch your toes.

• You cannot get into a down dog position no matter how hard you try.

• Unable to tie your shoes.

• You develop a phobia of cats.

• You're still wearing your mask when you go to bed.

• You can' twist and shout.


What should I tell my family and close contacts?

• That no matter what, you can't stop smiling. You beat Covid!

• You have No Fear.

• You sing like nobody's listening.

• You dance like nobody's watching.

• That if you don’t let the past die, then it won’t let you live.

• That little by little, day by day, what is meant for you will find its way.


f your symptoms worsen, Do Not SEEK MEDICAL TREATMENT, you will be just taxing the healthcare system.

For additional questions or concerns, please call us on our hotline: (COVIDSUCKS) 268-437-8257 or visit our website liveyourlifewithpassion.com


~Till next time :)

~Sue





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